Friday Funny

posted on Tuesday because I am just funny like this.

My MIL sent this to Adrian and since he is at scout camp tonight with Ben Jamin I thought I would read his email.

Actually, I read it everyday, but I sound sneakier if I act all covert.

Man, am I tired. Anyway, here goes the very silly Chicken humor:




Modern day folks answer that age old question:

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"


BARACK OBAMA:The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE! And HOPE! It looked HOPEFUL!

JOHN McCAIN:My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One! that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me, although I clearly remember having to dodge enemy fire as Chelsea and I tried to cross the road.

DR. PHIL:The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

JOHN KERRY:Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die in the rain. Alone.

RUSH LIMBAUGH:Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?' That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA:In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:Isn't that intewesting? In a few moments, we will be wistening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a sewious case of molting, and went on to accompwish its wife wong dweam of cwossing the woad.

ARISTOTLE:It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra#%* reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

REVEREND JEREMIAH WRIGHT:Damn that chicken. Does that make me unpatriotic?

scout camp goof

This morning at 5:15 am my husband left the house with 2 very excited boys. And yes, 16 year olds don't usually act too excited about anything, but he was about this. They went to Scout Camp. At Boxwell. With lots of boys from Middle Tennessee that go to our same church. This was a big deal.

Harrison has made friends with a boy that is visiting for the summer. His dad is a builder and they are building a dome. But not just any dome. The worlds largest concrete dome. Here on a mountain in our little town. It is for some Buddhists or something like that.

I know, it is unusual to meet a Catholic in this small southern town. A Buddhist is unheard of. The area must have good Karma cause they bought several hundred acres to build their dome on.

Harrison's new friend is from Idaho and will be going back soon. Harrison has been trying to talk this new friend into going to Scout Camp with him. Yesterday Adrian gets a call (since he is the Scoutmaster of our little Troop) from Idaho friend asking if it was too late for him to go.

Today.

Surprisingly, it was not and Adrian made arrangements to meet with them and give them the paperwork and the phone number of an amazingly wonderful Doctor that we go to church with so he could run by her house and get the physical.

But here is the best part. When Idaho friend called, the connection was a little off and Adrian was having a hard time understanding him. He asked him to spell his name, since Adrian was a little unsure of what he had said. Adrian spent the next few hours calling this friend Ben Jamin. Kind off a funny last name, don't you think?

Ben Jamin.


Do you get it? Jamin is not his last name. He was spelling his first name:

B-E-N-J-A-M-I-N

We have made a whole lot of fun of Adrian over this one. Harrison sent him an e-mail last night asking him if he had Ben Jamin lately.

Adrian seems to think it is not that funny. That is why I feel compelled to share this incident with the whole world.

Since I know his sister will want to get to make fun of him having a blonde moment!

Saturday night book club

I don't watch TV. I am too impatient or something. So last night while the boys watched The Brothers Grimm I read this book. It was very good. The ending was believable to me.

So many times it feels so far fetched when the investigator finally figures out "whodunit".

Not here, it was kind of what you suspected the whole time.

This is set in the 15th century. I love historical fiction!!!!

So the next two books I am reading are a Jessica Fletcher mystery. Yes, I said Jessica Fletcher! Do you remember Murder, She Wrote? Well, this book is supposedly written by her. Funny, huh? And then I have Middlemarch by George Eliot. And it is a little tiny copy. It is fat and squat and sooooo cute. I have been carrying it around in my purse. So anyone that knows me knows it must be small cause I do not like a big purse!

Happy Reading!

Most awesome book in the world!

I just read this book and I am absolutely in love with this author! Joanne will you marry me? She combines all of my favorite obsessions into one.

BAKING

MURDERS

SINGLE WOMEN SOLVING MURDERS

COLD CLIMATES (MINNESOTA)

BOOKS AND READING

There are recipes scattered throughout the book. And it is absolutely G Rated!

RUN and go buy this book. Wait, it is almost Sunday, please don't break the Sabbath, run Monday morning and buy this book. You will not be sorry.

I made her tuna sandwich today for lunch. YUM YUM YUM YUM YUM

pretty please with sugar on top?

would someone please make this for me?

Last Monday we went kayaking

Okay, I use the term we very loosely. The kids went kayaking and I watched. It was really a chance for Ella and Molly to get some experience. The older kids have been kayaking but the little girls haven't had a chance, yet. They just paddled around at River Front Park. They had LOTS of fun. We even brought Bandit. He must not have much Retriever in him, even though it looks like he does cause he just will not get out in the water. But he laid in it on the edge of the river and drank about 10 gallons worth!

After the kayaking we had a picnic. Leftover tacos. It was a really good picnic food cause it was all in little containers in the fridge already from Friday night when we first had it. I just warmed the meat, beans and rice up.

And then a big banana pudding for dessert or leftover chocolate cake for the kids that don't like pudding. Even though I do NOT understand how anyone could not LOVE pudding!

and then some ducks showed up.
and then Molly got too cool for kayaking and put her feet up. How many of us can fit into a kayak with our feet up? Oh, Molly was so funny, she was soooo excited to kayak until she went to get into the kayak. She saw dirt and spiderwebs in them. She said she would not get in until Adrian cleaned out the kayak. Little Cynthia! Lucy did some paddle posing.

And the evening ended with Harrison accidentally flipping over. What a shocking accident it was, too!

the drywall has been hung in the bathroom

so that means that the foyer looked like this for 2 days.


so here is the bathroom. the kids will have a little room that the toilet and shower are in and then two sinks so that they can all be doing their thang at once and no one is in each others way. Right? I sure hope so. Next year William, Lucy and Rachel will all leave at 6:10. Harrison will not even be up then, so just 3 of them have to negotiate bathroom time. Then the next year Harrison will be in High School also, so then all 4 of them will have to leave at 6:10. That may be a little hairy. but then the next year they lose William. ahh, the circle of life. Or maybe the circle of teenagers.in the picture below the vanities will be to the right and the door to the shower/potty is straight in front. to the left is the nook that the kids stackable washer and dryer just barely fits into. they have had their own washer and dryer for years, but it has taken the space of one of the bedroom closets that backed up to the bathroom. by taking out the bathtub and installing a shower stall we gave the bedroom back it closet and kept the w/d in the bathroom. yeah!

nice, don't you think?

We have installed Net Nanny on the computers here at the house. And let me just start out by telling some of you, GOODBYE. I will miss you.


Net Nanny has banned some of my blogs.







That is okay, thought. I want to be careful in what I read and see on the Internet, so Net Nanny can help me to avoid the times when some of you get colorful with your language or topics. As long as your homepage is clean, I can visit, so I will be lurking when allowed.

I am really liking it. Today was a little awkward because I am trying to find a vintage pattern to sew Ella a Nancy Drew looking dress for her birthday and everytime i thought I had found something Net Nanny would stop me from going because of lingerie. Can you imagine sewing lingerie? I can't even imagine wearing it much less sewing it! Anyway, I think my best Net Nanny moment happened on Friday night.


My parents went to Chicago this week and as they came back through they stopped and had my 15 year old niece with them. She was on the computer and all of the sudden goes,

"Ummm, I am blocked..."


So I said, "Well, you must be trying to go somewhere that has inappropriate content, sorry."


And then Lane says, "But I was going to my own website!"


I have laughed about this for days.


So I am sure that her website probably was fine. Net Nanny is just very strict. I like it that way. She is my favorite Nanny!

Freud, I need a diagnosis please

Am I the only person that doesn't really enjoy looking at photographs? And of course the ones that I might be in are totally off limits. But I really have this bizarre aversion to looking at photos. Honestly, I like my kids a lot but I see them everyday. I don't need to sit next to them looking at pictures of them. Even baby pictures. I was there.

And then there are home movies. I am like the scrooge of home movies. The kids beg and plead. Mom, Puleeeeze come and see how funny it is when we are throwing the ball, playing in the sand, picking our noses, well, you get the idea. They love it. They could sit and watch themselves for hours. And they do. I actually get uncomfortable when they are watching home movies. I have to move to another room.

So all of my 3 readers, what psychological problem do I have? Is it a phobia? Please, give it a name. I like to take pictures sometimes. And then post them here. I even enjoy doing the posts. But once I am done, I am done. I don't go back and look at old posts. I like looking at everyone Else's pictures and seeing what you are up to.

I am a strange person, I know.

This is really only the tip of the iceberg. I will probably not share the really bizarre stuff. My husband should have a blog and he could just tell my craziness. He could call it, "My psycho non pioneer wife."

Kinda catchy. Okay, not really at all. I am kind of a little giddy tonight. I spent way too much time outside tonight watching the kids kayak.

I will post pics soon.

Because I took lots of pictures. Why did I take lots of pictures? I have no idea, I will post 3 or 4 of them and delete the rest.

Summer Sassy Apron Is Fab

I recieved the YUMMIEST apron from Debbie at Studio Bee Creations. It is so fabulous. She also added in a vintage tea towel and a button made by her daughter. Are you jelous? You should be. I ahve been wearing it non stop. I took a nap today and when I got up Rachel had done the dishes (yea!) and made rice crispy treats that she had iced and they said DAD. ANd of course, she had on this apron! Do you want one? Debbie has them for sale at her ETSY shop. How much do I heart ETSY?? I HEART ETSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO go and visit her shop and get your own cutest apron in the world!

Pioneer Woman and Liberal Freaks

Welcome to my readers who have googled this post. I receive about 50 hits a day to this post. If you click on the blog name up above it will take you to the main page and you can see what I am writing about right now!!

Please feel free to leave me a comment below or after any of my posts!


Okay, when did we become strictly a republic? Voters in California voted NO to same sex marriage. But now a few LIBERAL FREAK judges decided that voters don't really get to make decisions?

It is a sad, sad day for our little democracy experiment here in the US. Sad because it seems to be a failed experiment.

******************************************************************************


On a completely different note....

I know Marlboro Man's real name. I also know all about the history of his family in Oklahoma.

Google is a beautiful thing.

Or a wicked thing, depending on how you look at it.

I learned that his Great great grandfather was one of the first white men in Osage County right after the Civil War.

Okay, his family is a dynasty in the Cattle raising industry.


Anyway, his name is













Ladd Drummond














Here are some fun articles about her and Ladd. Haha I just said Ladd! Oh, I know the punks names. too. Ready?

Alex
Paige
Todd
Bryce

Here are the articles:
This one is funny
http://www.tulsaworld.com/common/printerfriendlystory.aspx?articleID=070729_1_A1_hFour01672

This one is all about Ree
http://newsok.com/article/3184718/1198585644

Storytime

I've been meaning to tell you this thing that happened a few years ago.


Do you want to hear it?








So, my father in law had a flat tire a few years back. He was driving up the mountain to Spencer at the time. He got out to change it and decided that it would be wise to put a rock behind the back tire since he was on a pretty steep spot. It was dark, but the moon was out so he looked around and spotted a good size rock. It was kind of glowing white from the moon. You can probably picture how a whitish rock would look out under a big moon.


So he picked it up.



Here is when he discovered he had a small problem. See the rock turned out to not be a rock.



His fingers went right through it.





It was a dead and decaying opossum.



Yeah, there is my gross story for your Saturday night. Or Sunday morning to my friends on the other side of the Atlantic. Aren't you glad that you read this one through to the end?

Now go and do your thing. I will be back later.

Super Chicks

These are the leaders doing a little show for the girls at camp. The camp theme was "Superheroes". While much of our discussion was centered on how the girls could be like the superheroes in the scriptures, we did have some silly time. Here is a prime example. They called themselves the "Superchicks"

Tagged

Tenara tagged me and since I am really egocentric, I am excited to play along!!!!!



This is the SEVEN THINGS tag, so here goes:



1. I am really conservative. REALLY CONSERVATIVE!

2. I love pudding

3. I like opera

4. I think country music is straight from the mouth of SATAN

5. I am not afraid to say what I think. My husband says it is because I am a Yankee.

6. I have a secret fantasy life in which I am a mild mannered, middle aged Welsh woman who seems to be always solving mysterious murders of people in the small seaside village in which she lives.

7. If I had an attention span of longer than 5 minutes I would write a book about that mild mannered Welsh woman who seems to always be solving a murder mystery and it would be full of heinous run on sentences.


Now I am supposed to tag 7 people. Some people take offence and say they don't like tags. Here is what I have to say to you people. I DO NOT CARE! If you don't want to do a tag, just don't do it. don't whine about it! Sometimes I get tags and even awards and for whatever reason I am unable to do anything about it. Just relax and chill, it is just a blog, and just a tag....

Does everyone feel better now? Now I am going to pick 7 of you from my sidebar and if you are into yourself like I am and want an excuse to randomly talk about yourself, GO FOR IT.

1. FlowerLKD (my new young camp friend)
2. Haley (cause she has twins and one of them is named William Hale!!!)
3. Ben and Mandy (cause he used to live here)
4. Joanna (she is a Kiwi living in NH. Is Kiwi derogatory? )
5. Kim (she is pregnant!)
6. Sherry (she bragged on my girls on her blog!!)
7. Adrian. No, he doesn't have a blog but he has an awfully good time reading mine. And YOURS. So he can just leave his in the comments!

piano recital

Ella and Rachel had a piano recital last month. It was held in the sanctuary of the Methodist Church. Isn't Ella cute with her glasses?


Here is Lucy fixing Molly's hair while Molly chats with her best buddy R.

Fun Monday

Molly is hosting Fun Monday this week. I decided I had to play since I have a sweet Molly at my house and wanted to play with a grown up Molly for a change. The assignment this week is to tell a happy childhood memory.

HMMMM.... Why is it when someone asks you a specific question, your mind goes blank? I am sure that I sit and daydream about this kind of thing all the time and now that I am trying to think of something to write about it is like I slept through my childhood.

I can think of some goofy times and some boring things. I guess one interesting thing is when my dad would go to China. My dad used to go on buying trips twice a year. He would be there for 3 or 4 weeks.( I think. Sometimes childhood memories are a little hazy) He would always bring home the greatest stuff. Big silk kites shaped like dragons and butterflies, cloissenie jewelry and jewelry boxes. It all seemed so exciting and exotic when I was 5 years old. Little did I realize that when I was 15 I would actually be living in Hong Kong and the exotic would turn into the annoying!

I remember one time when I went to Boise and visited my grandparents. They had decided to buy a small ranch after they retired. I would pick raspberries and ride motorcycles. I also went several times and visited my ohter grandparents in California. When I was little they lived near Palm Springs and then later they moved down to Seal Beach. I remember that they had a waffle maker and we would make waffles for dinner. That was the bomb as far as I was concerned cause we didn't have a waffle maker at home. Yummy! I also always loved travelling alone. I like to just sit and chill and flying from Illinois to California was a nice time to do that.

From the time I was 7 until I was 14 I lived in a small town named Naperville. Now, probably some of you have heard of Naperville and would argue with my description of a small town. But trust me. in 1979, when we moved there, it was a small town. I used to ride my bike EVERYWHERE. My friends and I just did whatever, ride to the pool, go shopping downtown, the library, the river. It was great fun. Once we got a little older we would ride the train downtown to Chicago and treat Chicago the way we treated Naperville. Hanging out in record stores (remember records? Our favorite was Waxx Traxx. Maybe it just had one x, that looks a little weird) and goofing off in general. Yeah, I had goofing off down to a science.

Well anyway, go and visit the grown up Molly's site and see what all the other kids are doing!

Sewing is contagious

Ella decided that she wanted to make an apron for her teacher. She sent an e-mail to Mrs. L and asked her a bunch of favorites type of questions. Ella ended up with a list that included:

Color: Royal Blue
Animal: Dog
Collection: Boyd's Bears
Season: Fall
Hobbies: Sewing and cooking

So Ella decided that she wanted to incorporate as many of these elements into the apron as she could. At first she tried to embroider a dog, but we decided that this bear would look better. We found the bear on an online coloring sheet and then I minimized it on our scanner. Ella did an excellent job.


After she had embroidered the bear for the pocket she was ready to start sewing the apron. She picked a bear fabric that looked like some of Mrs. L's Boyd's Bears.

She decided to make a gathered half apron, since she likes the ones that I have. We used the pattern in Bend the Rules Sewing.
And she picked a blue fabric for the waistband and ties. It isn't exactly Royal Blue, kind of more of a chambray. It matches the bear fabric just perfect. Ella was very happy with the finished product.

Here is a closeup of the pocket.