Friday, November 30, 2007

Like a good neighbor...

I try to be a good neighbor.

Yesterday a few of my neighbors came by for a visit.
They actually seemed to be a little upset. They wanted to discuss some rumors they had heard about our family. I invited them in, but they hung back by the bushes.

As you can see, Tom was a little bit puffed up. The more I tried to talk to them the worse it got. They were in a fowl, um I mean foul mood.
Then I realized they had brought some of the more unruly neighbors with them. If any of you have ever met these ladies, you know what LOUD gossipers they are. Something was up!
Then they told me. They had heard about this:
I didn't make excuses. Yes, there are certain days of the year that we would willingly wring our neighbors necks and slowly roast them in the oven. Well, they left in a huff, squawking and shaking there tail feathers at me.
This happens in everyones neighborhood, doesn't it?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Free Stuff. Yippee!

Look at this fabulous Kate Spade Picture holder. It holds 24 pictures and is leather. I looked it up at the Nieman Marcus site and it is $55. Now, you may have $55 that you are willing to spend on this. I won't judge you , but that is an ABSURD amount of money! But hey, don't worry about breaking the piggy bank. The kids can still eat this week. I have great news, you can get it for FREE. Sort of. If you win. No, I don't have this cool of a giveaway here. Head on over to the Beehive and try your luck. The Queen Bee is giving one of these suckers away. Good Luck!
And hey, I could have been selfish and not shared this giveaway with you all, thus increasing my chance of winning. Wait... oh bummer. I shouldn't have told you! Oh well. Go over and try to win it anyway. I won't be too depressed. Maybe. um, good luck

I had so much fun yesterday looking at the Fun Monday post and reading the comments that everyone left on my post. Thanks, everyone! If anyone is interested in playing next week Robinella is in charge. Just head on over and let her know you want to play.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Fun Monday Pictures

I could have taken a bunch more pictures but it was raining and , well, I didn't want to melt or anything! This first one is of the closet doors in my daughters room. This used to be my son's room. About 3 years ago. The walls got painted but these doors still scream 10 year old boy. What can you do? Ahhh... the bookcase in my bedroom. Pitiful.
This here is a view of the rain from our screened in porch. Isn't it beautiful. We went all out and bought the invisible screen. It is amazing. Even the dogs and cats don't see it and can walk right through it.
Next are the French doors we put in 5+ years ago. We keep meaning to get the brick redone around it...

Ooh, this is a special view of the ceiling in the porch and the door to the kitchen. Just add that to the needs brick list.
Hmm... very dark. Remember the rain? I guess I should turn the light on. That bench at the table is temporary. For about 5 years!
Boy, better be careful going down the back steps of death!
The ceiling fans keep it lovely and cool out on the screened porch.
Okay, I feel like this is a slam against my husband because these are all things he built with only the help of the children. I would help but I am worse help than the children so they just put me on the cooking assignment while they work. Sometimes I remember to do that. My husband is the hardest working person that I know and if he had a spare moment he would work on any of these jobs I have forced him to start even though he has no time to do them. He just loves me that much. AWWW, ain't love grand? So I have ZERO complaints about these jobs being undone. We are both too cheap to hire any of this work out.
Soon we are going to start remodelling the kids bathroom. We need another project to keep us busy. We were thinking that maybe we would start Christmas Eve, since we won't have anything else going on!HaHa.
Thanks for this FUN MONDAY assignment. I have had a fun, shame filled morning!

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Fun Monday

Bluemomma is hosting Fun Monday this week. Fun Monday is a *FUN* activity I have noticed people playing and have finally gotten myself organized this week to participate. Every week there is a new host and new assignment. This was what Bluemomma said on her blog:

I want you to show me your......projects. More to the point, I want to see
your unfinished projects. I have so many that I really need some reassurance
that I'm not the only one. Home improvement projects are what I have in
mind, but it you don't have any of those show me any kind of project -
needlework, cooking, scrapbooking, etc. You can even show me your spouse if
they qualify as a work in process.And please, I WANT PICTURES!!!! You can
talk if you want, but you don't have to. I know since you are all bloggers
talk is bound to happen, but I most definitely want to see photos of those
unfinished projects. Ok, folks, have fun and enjoy one you don't have to
think about too much!

Okay, I am warming up the camera and will be posting my pictures in the morning!

Napping moms and questioning kids

Today I took a nap. Big surprise, right? Okay, actually it is. Last summer I had a sleep study done. They diagnosed mild apnea. I was fitted with a sleeping machine. I think it is called a C-PAP, but I didn't pay too much attention, I was too transfixed by all of the tattoos covering the technician. It was going to be just the two of us. All night long at the sleep center. He was creepy. His job was to watch me sleep.

I was asleep in about 5 minutes. I guess I wasn't too worried about creepy guy. Even if something happened, it was all being taped.

So anyway, now I feel great. I used to want to sleep all the time. Driving the kids to school in the morning was a real struggle. I was falling a sleep behind the wheel. I would come home a lot of days and think "I will just lay down for 1/2 an hour." I would wake up at noon. And I would feel like I had been run over by a Mack truck. And I would still be tired. I couldn't shake the sleepiness.

But not now. I rarely can even take a nap when I want to. No, I haven't turned into a massive never stop moving ,whirlwind of a super mom. I wish. They don't have a machine that you breathe into that gives you a new personality. If they did I would be buying one first thing in the morning! I do get more done, though. And I feel rested when I wake up. There are a lot of mornings that I wake up on my own. That was unheard of for the last few years.

Don't get me wrong. I still LOVE to sleep. I can still do 10 hours every night, no problem. But at least it is productive!

So back to today. I took a nap. A popular pastime at our house after church. What is it about taking a nap that makes your children have to come and ask you crazy questions. I was asked these things today while I was napping:

  • Mom, is Dad home yet?

Let me think about this. You are out in the living room. I am asleep. Do I know if someone has come in and out? No. I am ASLEEP!

  • Mom, can I knit my person a scarf for Christmas?

Hmmm... Okay, let me explain that one a bit. Our kids draw names and that is who they get a Christmas present for. Molly is very excited about doing this every year. Probably just because of her age. (6) Now, she has already been told that she can't spend any more money on her person since she has already spent about $25. I caught her trying to sneak out yesterday with her piggy bank to go to the pawn shop (I know, remember that I am married to a redneck. Some people like yard sales...) and buy more stuff. So now she can only make things. The girl does like to make crafts, but she doesn't know how to knit. Or crochet. Or tat. Or anything else like that. I tell her no in a groggy, I am trying to sleep kind of voice.

She leaves. She comes back. She tells me:

  • But I found this sewing kit. Look mom.

She has one of those little 3 inch by 3 inch emergency sewing kits that come from the dollar store. What does the sewing kit have to do with a scarf? you guessed it. She was going to knit a scarf with the thread. Yes, she is still a little unclear on knitting. Maybe it is time to take her to a knitting class!

Even though that was a funny moment ,with Molly, my favorite question came later. I was sound asleep. Probably snoring. I snore without my sleep machine on since my airway is blocked. One of my sweet children came in and woke me up to ask:

  • Mom? Are you sleeping?

Saturday, November 24, 2007

How has YOUR weekend been?

Yes, my blog is pink today. I feel pink and sassy. So watch out!

I had the greatest day yesterday. Wanna know what I did? Nothing. Not a single thing. I slept until 9:00. I didn't get dressed until 2:00. It was heavenly.

Now, I have had other days like this but yesterday was different. I actually felt like I had nothing to do. The house was clean. The food was cooked. (Thanksgiving is still oozing out of every corner of my refrigerator. Soon it will feel more like vomit...) I didn't have anywhere I had to go. Let me repeat that...I HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! About once every 6 months I get a day with no where to go. And for the planets to align in such a way that I also have a clean house and food prepared, well, that just ain't gonna happen too often.

So today I feel like a million bucks. I was happily awake at 7:00 this morning. Molly came in to talk to me. And get warm. The heat pump is broken on our end of the house, but that is another story. We got up and I was glad to start cleaning, etc. I have swept and mopped. The kitchen looks spotless. I have cleaned the upper oven. Well, okay, the upper oven is cleaning itself, but I had to remove the rack and wipe out the grime that in big chunks. And I degreased and scrubbed the little window. And I have done several loads of laundry.

I am headed to the ironing board right now and am going to iron all of Adrian's shirts that are stacked on it. Then... I am going to wrap Christmas presents.

Yesiree, I am having a fabulous Thanksgiving weekend.

~Leave me a comment and let me know the best part of your holiday weekend~

Friday, November 23, 2007

Tall kids not allowed

Yesterday there was some discussion about how tall William was. Gretchen thought he was as tall as Adrian. I was sure that wasn't the case. It was unsettling for me to think of him being taller than his dad. He has been taller than me for years, but I am not ready for him to be the tallest person in the house.

I said "He only looks tall because he wears those Etnies shoes." I thought, that is why you have to pay so much for them, they give you the illusion of being several inches taller. I was looking at William standing next to his dad when I said that.

William looked down at his feet and said "No Mom, I am barefoot, Dad made me take my socks and shoes off."

Uh Oh. Gulp... Is the kid really as tall as his dad? My world kinda falls apart with this one. I know he is going to be 16 in 2 months. I know he will be moving on out of here int the next few years. But I can deny these things easier when he still looks like a kid. But he is now becoming a tall, car driving, beard shaving, receiving all sorts of mail from college recruiters almost adult.

It is a good thing there are a lot of desserts in the house this weekend because just writing this post is making me feel the kind of stress that only pecan pie can calm.

There was a really happy ending, though. William is still actually an inch shorter than Adrian.

The planets are still lining up for me!

Now I just need to figure out a way to sabotage his Eagle Scout Project. He is actually working on it. He has been ready to work on it for over 2 years and has just not done anything about it. He has known all along that he would not be allowed to get his driver's license until he earned that Eagle rank. Countdown to 16th birthday has finally lit a fire under him.

After all of the measuring and my worries (Most of the thought s that ran through my head are ones that I wrote about here but it happened in about a 4.5 second frame of time.) we realized that Uncle Steve hadn't been measured. We didn't want him to feel left out. I was too lazy to get up out of my semi-reclined position on the couch until I saw Adrian measuring Steve. I hopped up and grabbed the camera to snap a picture of this funny sight.

Uncle Steve had everyone in the whole house beat. He was taller by several inches than anyone.

Next Thanksgiving maybe we should get the scale out and everyone can try to outweigh each other.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Little Ones on Thanksgiving

Here is my girl Molly and her sweet (and rascally) cousin Caroline. They were looking for something to do after we had eaten enough food to feed a small country. The adults were in coma mode (see previous post for a glorious photo aimed at embarrassing my blog phobic BIL). Molly asked if they could play with Play Doh. She already had the Play Doh in her hand. I am not a Play Doh mom. It is an evil substance invented to undermine the cleaning regiment of the mothers of industrialized countries. You all feel this way, don't you? Please tell me that it is not just a weird quirk of mine. I don't want to be weird today. I am grateful that Molly has the worlds most amazing teacher and they play with Play Doh when it is raining outside and have to stay in. She and her friend Rachel make all sorts of wonderful houses and people and animals. But at my house I kind of like to have really controlled Doh experiences. When Molly and Caroline are together they play really well. I was afraid they would play too well and have the Play Doh off of the table. Carrying Play Doh away from the kitchen table breaks one of my Ten Commandments for playing. I never reveal all ten commandments at once since I am always changing them to fit the situation. So don't ask what the other nine are. I won't know what they are until I see a mess in the making and I make up a rule to change the coarse of the mess direction.
So instead of Play Doh, I suggested Calico Critters and Doggie Daycare. Yes, this is the same Doggie Daycare that was*gasp* recalled due to lead. I read the recall. It was a problem if children ate the paint. I am soo past children eating their toys here that I decided to be a toy rebel and keep the Doggie Daycare that Molly plays with about 3 times a year. As you can see, they were having a big time. I think that is a Southern saying, big time, but I have lived here so stinkin' long all of these sayings are getting all blurred together. Oh help me!
Here is my girl. Note the fleece shirt. Yesterday morning it was 75 degrees and sunny. After lunch the clouds came, followed by torrential rain, then thunderstorms, and finally: COLD. Crazy, huh. Isn't she so pretty. Let's all stare at her for a while. I could do this for hours.
Oh, Caroline is back. I took some really funny pics of Caroline today. They are on my SIL's super duper fancy pants camera. It is so cool, you can just hold the button down and it goes click,click,click,click,click... You get the idea. What a great Christmas present a really clicky camera like that would make. My husband is reading over my shoulder and thought that last sentence was really weird. I think he is really weird. He thinks I jump topics. He thinks it doesn't make any sense. He thinks I need a creative writing class. Ha, that shows what he knows. I took a creative writing class. In high school. In the 80's. It is all still up here in my head. I am a creative writing wonder.

He made me digress. What a knucklehead. back to these sweet girls. They had a wonderful day. My SIL took pictures of the food, I think. When she gets them up on her blog I will send a link over to it. I hope she puts up the awesome action shots that I took, too. I will even let her take credit for them!

Thanksgiving Company

I cook.
I clean.
I bake.
I set the table.
I do the dishes.
And this is what I get. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law asleep on the couch in a Thanksgiving induced nap.
They are great company.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

smothered in love

Tonight my absolutely amazing, handsome, talented, smart, funny, irreplaceable husband had an idea. You may be thinking: Wow, I bet this guy had a great idea! Well, all of you are sooo smart, also. It was a great idea. It was a fabulous idea. You see, today I did what any anal retentive, always have to do everything herself, self proclaimed martyr hostess does the day before Thanksgiving. I cooked ALL DAY LONG. And I wouldn't have had it any other way. I love to be the hostess and cook. I don't really care about decorating the house, which is weird, they usually go hand in hand. Oh, but cook. I am a slave to my stove.

Now, as you know, all serious chefs are tyrants in the kitchen. My prep cooks have felt my sting today. They have taken it in stride, even when I decided that we had to abandon the edible turkey place cards because they just looked to untidy at the hands of the 6 year old artist. Yes, holidays really are about me, not the children. They are just along for their ride. And to be scullery maids. No, I am kidding. I had a pecan pie made by Ella. A pumpkin pie by Harrison. Rachel made the cranberry sauce. Molly cubed the bread for the stuffing. Rachel cubed the cornbread. Ella and Molly peeled the potatoes for the mashed potatoes. Ella also made the sweet potato casserole.

hey wait, I think all I did was brine the turkey. And clean out places in the fridge for the stuff. Oh wait! I made the mashed potatoes. I don't even like mashed potatoes. tomorrow I will be the only chef, except for the corn casserole that I am leaving to Lucy.

Uh Oh, William didn't cook anything. But, he did clean the bathroom. I am sure we can put him on eating duty tomorrow and he will do just fine. I would say I would put him on clean up, but I *gulp* bought *gulp* paper plates! I know! i don't do paper plates! And I have done them twice in a month. I also did them for a baby shower in the beginning of November. I am not sure what this means. Next thing you know I will be throwing water bottles away like they are disposable. Or not reusing my plastic silverware. I shudder to think of the financial and environmental consequences of my wanton actions. I am living on the edge, baby.

So anyway, my point was to share with you my husband's great idea. Since I was busy cooking, he thought it would be fun to go out to eat for dinner. SMART MAN! We have this tricky thing we do. Applebees has happy hour from 3 until 7 Monday thru Thursday. Appetizers are half price. We go and only order appetizers. Yummy and economical. We ordered 8 appetizers and one regular meal that was around $12. ( a little blonde moment on Lucy and Rachel's part. Apparently we needed to explain a little more to them how a restaurant menu works, i.e. the appetizers are the items listed under the section marked "appetizers". We will work on that skill next time, baby steps, you know.) Anyway, we ordered all that and it was $38 before tax. Pretty cool, huh? Tuesday nights kids eat free, also.

So William decided to order the Nachos Huevos. I think that is what it was called, the name isn't as important as the ingredients. Here was the description:

Tortilla chips smothered in love
Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but we were pretty darn curious what love tasted like. so when the waitress came to take our order, William asked," What exactly is on the nachos?"
Her response,"Ground beef, beans, cheese sauce, jalapenos, tomatoes, lettuce, and sour cream."
Wow, Adrian was so excited. So many deep questions answered in one trip to Applebees. Love tastes just like a taco salad.
Any more questions? Just ask the Applebees Oracles. They pretend to be a copywriter in their menu department!

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I took Chrys's personality test. I posted the results below:

You Are An ISTJ

The Duty Fulfiller

You are responsible, reliable, and hardworking - you get the job done.

You prefer productive hobbies, like woodworking or knittings.

Quiet and serious, you are well prepared for whatever life hands you.

Conservative and down-to-earth, you hardly ever do anything crazy.

In love, you are loyal and honest. If you commit yourself to someone, then you're fully committed.

For you, love is something that happens naturally. And you don't need romantic gestures to feel loved.

At work, you remember details well and are happy to take on any responsibility.

You would make a great business executive, accountant, or lawyer.

How you see yourself: Decisive, stable, and dependable

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, conservative, and egotistical

Sunday, November 18, 2007

The Bestest Cookies In The Whole World

Got Milk?
Shimmy on over and bake some cookies. Just save me a couple. Okay?

How silly am I? Well, not very, actually. Yes it is silly that I took this quiz. Not surprisingly I am Elinor Dashwood. Ahh... long suffering Elinor. I feel I am in good company ;-)

Take the quiz here

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Fun Game

This is a fun game and it has a good cause. Go and play. I INSIST!!!

I forgot one thing. William won his game tonight and he played a full quarter and he scored. woo hoo. Go Broncos!

Friday, November 16, 2007

A Contest You Can Enter! Yipee

This chick is having a contest. She is giving away a little digital camera. It is on a key chain. I entered. I don't really need it. But it is free. I have no willpower. Please enter and win instead of me so I don't have to feel guilty about having another 'thing' in my house to deal with.

She has a nice blog. She is obsessed with Chesterfield couches. I have never really thought about the merits of Chesterfield couches. They have merits, though. The guys in the band Bare Naked Ladies like Chesterfields. They sing about them in the song If I Had A Million Dollars (No that is not a link, just go to ITunes if you want to hear it.) That song is my 6 year olds favorite. She asks my husband regularly to borrow his IPod so she can listen to it.
~that is probably ruining her hearing~

She will be mad at me later because I let her listen to an IPod when she was a kid and her hearing got messed up. All that bitter resentment will cause her to have emotional problems. Then she will have to be in therapy. That is okay, though because a kid I went to high school with is now a psychology professor at BYU. She can just take his class. He and I took psychology together in high school. On the morning of graduation they had a breakfast for us at the American Club in Tai Tam. Our Psych teacher pulled me aside and gave me this piece of advice.

"Don't go into psychology"

We finally agreed on something

This post has left the highway and travelled way down a back road. I think maybe I am in a ditch next to a field of llamas. Yes, there is a field of llamas near my house.

Let me get back to the main highway here. The link to enter the camera contest is HERE in case that link doesn't work her site is called:
I guess New York?
OOOHHH... I put all sorts of links in this post. I think maybe I should have my own contest. Click on my links and then post a comment telling me the weird things that you have learned about me from the links. Feel free to make up some thing weird if you don't find anything you like in the links. I am all about re-inventing myself. If you all dig up something about me that isn't true but seems useful, I will pretend that it is true.
I am not afraid to lie. In my blog!!!!
I may scare up a fabulous prize for the person who's comments I like the best. Yes, this is random and there is really no way for you to know if you are doing it right, but what the heck, enter and see what happens.
I know you all can see through this ruse. I just want to get the lurkers to speak up and comment. How totally immature of you all to make me resort to bribing you. You should feel ashamed of yourselves! Now hang your heads and go lay down in your doghouses until I say come out. Huh, the dog was just standing here next to me. I guess that is why I have put you all in the dog house.
Wait, come back! you have to comment first. I want the lurkers from Hungary and Germany to comment first. Go ahead. Feel free to comment in German.
I don't speak German, but Ella's teacher is from Germany and William is friends with a kid from Germany who is on exchange here this year.
I am totally screwed if you comment in Hungarian. I am going to share all the Hungarian I know with you: goulash paprika gypsy? That last one is just a guess. Maybe that is Romanian. Please don't speak Hungarian to me. It is neither romantic nor intellectual since I can't understand it.
Hey, lurker from Italy, go ahead in Italian. My Brother in Law, who really doesn't like to be blogged about (see here) Can speak Italian.
Oh you probably want to know the prize. I have not though this through. Why don't you also suggest a good prize in you r comment... yeah, that's the ticket!
Good luck and I expect 1000's of comments.
Do you realize how much power I have given you. I am letting you pick your prize. Maybe. See, you have me up late at night and are working down my defenses. You wicked people.
I am really going to bed now, so don't try to stop me. This is the last time I will say goodnight! And the last time I will say good luck. And the last time I will use spell check. I love spell check. If only they would invent a mouth check so I could fix all that stuff I say to people that comes out wrong. I could pretend it just came out with typos.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

6 year old angst

Tonight I was in the car with Molly. We had just dropped Lucy, Rachel, and Ella off to be in charge of a nursery at church. (yes, I should have been at the meeting that the nursery was provided for, but I got kids to chauffeur and parking lots to sit and wait in!) Then we dropped Harrison at basketball. I had already dropped William at his basketball practice earlier. I did that right after I picked up Lucy, Rachel, and Harrison from a BETA meeting. I did that about 45 minutes after I went to two different schools to pick up the 3 other kids. I would use their names, but I have forgotten them in the maddening rush.

I just blacked out for a minute. I forgot to breathe, again! Where was I ???

Oh, Molly and I had about 20 minutes to kill in the parking lot at William's school. I had a book and Molly had Kiersten. I figured we would just sit and wait. Maybe take a nap or count the smashed bugs on the windshield. No, Molly needed some advice. She was having a problem and wanted to talk to me about it.



"Mom, how can you learn to stop back washing? Is it something you outgrow? I have a really bad problem of back washing and I don't know what to do."

"Oh... I uh, I think you will just learn to stop doing it. I wouldn't worry too much about it."

"Mom (yes, just like your children she says mom 765,987 times a day) how can you tell when there is backwash in a drink?"

"Err, little floaty bits from your mouth are floating in the drink and you can see them" That question felt like a close second to 'why do I need to use toilet paper after I poop?'

I wonder why she is asking this. What weird little thought triggered this backwash conversation. She talks a little more about it and then starts to play with Kiersten for a few minutes. I start to zone out and then she starts telling me about the inside of William's gym at his school. The school we are sitting in front of right now. Now, I don't want you to think that I am not an attentive mom. I am , dadgummit. (note use of local vernacular) I have been in that gym. Once. Last year. I watched William compete in a pickle ball tournament. No, I have no idea what pickle ball is. It looked like a cross between tennis and badminton played with racquetball rackets. He was creamed, he had never played before, either.

So Molly tells me about how they have a concession stand in the gym. Boy, her school isn't that cool. It also has no sports teams. None. She mentions that Tuesday night when she went to watch William's first basketball game of the season with her dad that Papa was there. He gave her money to buy popcorn and a soda at the aforementioned really cool right in the gym concession stand.

One popcorn

One soda

They all shared.

I wonder how you can tell if a six year old eating popcorn has back washed into a Sprite...

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Midnight Snack

I have a crazy daughter. She is funny, reliable, smart. And crazy. I feel the need to brag on her for a minute before we all laugh at her, so here goes.

  • Lucy was voted secretary of the 4H Honor Club this year.
  • Lucy has been on the school honor roll all year.
  • Lucy is Adrian's book keeper for his appraisal business. She keeps up with the checks when they come in, logging it all and making sure that he gets paid.
  • Lucy is an excellent babysitter. She regularly stays with 2 autistic boys and does a great job, cleaning up and cooking for them, also.
  • Lucy is thoughtful and organized. I can't tell you how many times she has cleaned the kitchen without being asked, just because she knows I am busy or sick.

That being said, I have to tell you a secret about Lucy. She dyes her hair. Well, not literally...but under that brown hair... Shh.. Lucy is BLOND! I know, you never knew this about her. She hides it well in public.

Now, I could spend a long time revealing many of her blond moments, but this morning she told us a story that is begging to be told. I tried to resist. No, story, leave me alone, I do not want to embarrass Lucy. I love my children and their happiness is my greatest joy. I do not enjoy telling silly stories about them! I argued. This story won.

This morning Lucy said, "Last night around midnight I got up and used the bathroom. Then I went into the pantry, got out some cereal and started to eat my breakfast. I looked at the clock and realized it was just midnight, not breakfast time yet. So I went back to bed."

I was laughing pretty good by the time she got done. It is light when she gets up now with the time change. I don't understand how you can make this mistake. She is just a little blond. But... I should have known better. She isn't a little blond. She is a lot blond.

She continued, "I always follow the same routine. I get up in the morning, go to the bathroom and then eat breakfast."

Okay, so that is why you did it at midnight last night?.?...

"I have started to always remember to look at the clock when I sit down to eat, since this has happened before."

?????????? Dumbfounded mom just stares at her. Then I burst out laughing. Apparently this nocturnal confusion is a common occurrence for our poor Lucy.

And, apparently, her blond roots shine brighter at night. We love you Ludy Lou!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Lunch Time

This is what I made for lunch yesterday. It is a plate of greasy, salty, sinfully divine fried onions and potatoes. You know you want it. Don't resist. This is not a mysterious dish to prepare. Just click HERE to get the recipe.

My Southern readers are laughing hysterically at me wondering why I would post a recipe for this dish. Cooking fried potatoes and onions is like making toast in the south. Well, guess what? Southern readers, Yankee Mom here had never seen a plate of fried potatoes and onions before marrying the redneck. That's right, I am actually going to admit that I can't remember even holding a real honest to goodness onion in my hand before getting married. Growing up, onions came dried and shredded in a shaker bottle. But only used on very rare occasions, and only if they would be undetectable in the final product. Maybe you can guess this but the International Man of Mystery does not care for onions. Neither does Mrs. International Man of Mystery. That left us poor Mysterious kids with no onion experience.

I am okay now. I went to a 12 step onion rehab program and I am cooking like a champ, now. I will even venture to let you in on a secret. Sometimes I make myself a plate of fried onions and potatoes for lunch and I leave out the potatoes. Uh huh, a big plate of fried onions. Then I give my kids big hugs and kisses after school so they can share the onion live!

Monday, November 12, 2007

I have Pride!!

I saw it again. Not here, but on another blog. The gay car dealer. It was even better this time. They had a catchy slogan. I thought it was great, at first.

Does your ride reflect your pride?

Umm, okay. Does that apply to me, also? Gay people don't have the market cornered on pride, do they. So I have spent a lot of the day thinking, worrying, okay- fretting and chewing my nails! My dad gum (note local vernacular) car had better reflect my pride! Then I went out and looked at the car, since it was time to start my afternoon taxi service anyway. DUH! Of coarse it reflects my pride. Do you all remember this? It's all good. I realized that since these sweet thangs I call my children are what fill me with pride then my whole life reflects that pride. I am actually running over with pride. It has actually spilled onto the floor, it is over flowing wastepaper baskets in the bathroom... Look, it is piled up on the bathroom counter...
Oh boy, I see it on the kids computer desk in the living room. And look how lucky I am, there is a little bit on the floor under the chair.
And spilling off of the couch and out from under it!
As luck would have it, you can see it lined up in the bathroom. That AXE body wash that my boys like to use has a warning on it that it may elicit extra female attention if you use it. It should have a warning about how much pride it will fill a mother with when she sees so many bottles of it in her shower. Especially empty bottles. Those have even more pride in them. Oh boy, the warm feelings that I get when I see empty bottles in the shower, or in the refrigerator. I especially love empty boxes of crackers and cereal in the pantry. It is like this fun game of - we don't need anything from the grocery store to- Haha, jokes on mom! We are actually out of EVERYTHING. Fills me with pride!

Razors show a lot of pride too. We have so many hanging out in this shower it is really a game of Russian Roulette when you get in. You would think we were shaving Bigfoot in here. Oh, in case you were wondering, all 8 of us share this bathroom. Yep, you heard me right.

As you can see, here at our house we are using our good parenting skills to instill a sense of order and cleanliness in our children. It will create a real sense of PRIDE in them of where they cam e from. We are really so proud!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

One Constant Is Change

Even though we have 4 daughters between 6 and 13 years, we only had one doll in the house. She is an American Girl named Kirsten. She belongs to my oldest daughter. My girls have never been "into" dolls. There were a few years when the oldest girls were little and I was still having babies that they played with them, but it has been years since any of them have even noticed a doll. We have received a few as as gifts, but they have either returned them or donated them to The Rescue Squad Toy Drive. I am sure I have influenced them a little, I never liked dolls.

I was a big disappointment to my mom. She had to wait through 3 stinky boys before she had me and then I was a big tomboy. Maybe not a tomboy, I never liked getting dirty or playing sports, but I also never liked pretty clothes or dolls.

Alright, that was a long enough stroll down memory lane. I love talking about myself, but this is going to be about my girl, M. She is my sweet baby. The other 5 kids will roll their eyes at me calling her my sweet baby. They think she is spoiled. They really have no idea about spoiled. I know spoiled, I was the baby at my house, by 9 years!! And I was the only girl. None of my kids are spoiled. They will thank me for that when they grow up. My kids have skills. Bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills, numchuck skills. They can also quote lame movies, just like me! We spend our family time doing REALLY IMPORTANT things like watching Napoleon Dynamite. A LOT!

Does anyone know how to spell numchuck? I don't think that is correct and spell check is not helping me. I am nothing without spell check, I feel so lost when it doesn't highlight and respell the words that I know I have spelled wrong.

Wait, hold on partner, actually we have 2 dolls. I just thought of it. My 15 year old son, W has a Napoleon Dynamite doll that has on really rockin' moon boots and dances. That is not weird. He is a cool kid, with a cool doll. I bought it for him.

Vote For Pedro

Summer is a Freak

This Kirsten doll has always been weird to me, though. L asked for her for her 11th birthday. It seemed strange for an 11 year old that didn't like dolls to want a $100 doll. But since my kids have grandparent manipulation down to a science, she received this doll. I have seen it out about 5 times. She had a friend with this doll, and they played with them together. I have not seen this doll in about a year. Until about 5 days ago. My 6 year old asked L if she could play with Kirsten. She has been absolutely addicted to this doll. She has carried her everywhere. She has been making jewelry and clothes for her. I would not ever have guessed.

Just when you think you know your kids, they throw you a curve ball. This picture looks staged, I didn't turn the flash off and she was asleep on the couch with all the overhead lights on. She loves this doll. Maybe Santa will bring her her own American Girl Doll. L would be grateful, I am sure.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Granola Topped Banana Bran Muffins

Hungry? Head over to She Cooks For the Family and get baking!!

Funny Ads

On the side bar to the left my Google ads are running. They read my blog and put up ads that are appropriate to the blog content. I have seen cooking, whole grain, baby, lunch box, Halloween costume ideas, etc. They have seemed really relevant to my content. Until today. Can anyone explain to me what I said that made them decide that my readers were looking for GAY FRIENDLY CAR DEALERS ? Of course now they will read it in my blog...

Do gay people really feel discriminated at heterosexual car dealerships?

Gay guy: ummm... I really want a pretty car. A pink car that has soft interior and a good lighted mirror so I can see to apply my lip gloss. Don't you have something with a cute tushie???

Homo phobic car salesman: Boy, you need a truck. Here is an F150 with a lift kit and mud tires. Get in it , now!!!


Now the gay guy starts whining and crying and stomping his feet and throwing a hissy fit. Truly, he throws a very good hissy fit.

The gay guy goes home crying to his boyfriend: they just don't understand me... I wish there was a gay friendly car dealer

And now for your gay shopping pleasure...

c'mon in boys and feel our engines purr
rear end alignments our specialty
I can't believe I just typed that. I am going to go and scrub my bath tub as punishment!
I could go on forever but my kids read this. Can you tell I ate cookies for breakfast? I am super hyper!!!!!!!!
Have I alienated you all now? Please don't run away screaming and renting your clothes... I made muffins. Really yummy good for you muffins. I will post them later today!!
I shall redeem myself!!!

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

First Date Part 2

Day 2... Wahoo Beach

I am still in a bit of denial that this day actually occurred. I am in denial because there is no sane reason I would have married this man that I married after this BIZARRE day.

It was just an average day for him. I had entered The Twilight Zone.

You know when you have out of town guests you always want to show them the best, most fun, coolest places in your hometown. I was told that was where we were going. He loves Wahoo Beach. For added fun, he was bringing along a .22. That is a gun. It was a longish gun, like the kind Pa Ingalls had hanging over the mantle. Ready to grab and shoot a bear or an Indian.

Everyone remember that I am from city kinds of places. I am pretty sure that only cops and gang members have guns. I am neither of those things. I am scared of both of those things. I am a little scared of the gun in the truck while I am in the truck. What if we hit a bump and it shoots us? What if he drops it and it shoots me? Don't laugh. I am still scared off these things, and now my 6 year old will be carrying a gun as big as herself outside to shoot at targets down in the field. But... mud is also scary to me... Here is an example...

We drive for about 30 minutes or so. Up the most WINDY, CURVY, HANGING ON THE EDGE OF A MOUNTAIN KIND OF PLACE. I am scared of falling off the side of a mountain, or down a flight of stairs, or off of a 6 inch high stool.

We finally reach our destination and I don't actually remember having to get out and throw up, but I was car sick. He turns off of the highway and guess what... NO ROAD!!!! He just starts driving on dirt? leaves? Umm, excuse me? Where is the road? Oh, this is the road. Fabulous. Then we got to the mud. I am screaming stop. In front of us are giant mud puddles.

Can't go under 'em, can't go around 'em, gotta go through them? NO WAY! These are the kind of mud holes that will suck the truck down into them and we will drown, or be trapped or get dirty. All of these are equally serious to me. He is LAUGHING at me. He just drives... I want out. He just keeps driving. Just a mile or so up here. We are almost there. I am scared. The trees clear. We have arrived. An open area, littered with bottles and cans, mostly broken, next to a huge strip pit. Filled with water. I am going to make you a list of things that I don't like, in case you have missed it so far:


Curvy Mountain Roads


Any kind of dirt, especially on me


and don't forget...


I know. I am obnoxious and spoilt and snobby and ... obnoxious. I don't care, he knew me before he brought me to SCARY Beach. But here we are. A romantic hideaway. Have I mentioned that we are in the smaller county? There are no stoplights in this county. NONE. ZERO ZIPPO. Anyway, here we are and he gets out with the gun. It is about 8 degrees. Okay probably 50 degrees. I was cold.

This is the statement that was then said to me: Do you want to shoot some bottles?

My response:???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????WHAT?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!UMMM, NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you see all of my facial expression there? I have still never shot a gun. I am sure I would kill myself, or someone else, or take out a headlight. I cannot even use a hammer. Really. A gun is a BAAADDD idea. SO he shoots, we admire the water. He tells me there are lots of stolen cars down at the bottom. Probably some bodies. Yes, you heard that right. We will just move on, I don't even really want to discuss the dead bodies. I am sure Lake Michigan had its share of dead bodies since Chicago was home to AL Capone.

This whole time the radio is playing in the truck. Now pay attention to this next part of the story. I live this part. I ask him if leaving the radio on is a good idea since it will drain the battery. He tells me he always leaves it on. It won't drain the battery. I have always been warned that leaving the key on will drain the battery. But I also know nothing about cars. I didn't even get my driver's licence until the summer after my freshman year at college. So he shoots some more and I search for clothes behind the seat because I am freezing. I am bundled up in his old flannel shirts when it is starting to get dark and really cold. Is it time to leave yet? Yes

Click, RRrrRR... Hmm...
Click ... silence...
Click ... silence...

That is the sound of an old Chevrolet 350 NOT cranking in the middle of nowhere in the cold and dark. Yes, the battery is dead. D E A D !! (I told you this was my favorite part, that part right there, the part where I was right) After this I don't like anything that happens, but I really like to gloat over that beautiful moment of rightness. I think I just made up a word to describe how great it was... RIGHTNESS.

But now, in the name of everything good, how will we get home??

To be continued...

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Smooth Operator

No more breakfast blahs... make yummy smoothies. Yes, I have finally put a recipe on She Cooks For The Family

So shimmy on over and check it out...

Baby Shower and Yummy Cake

Saturday we got to have a baby shower at the house. This is Tonya and Kevin. They go to church with us. They are having a boy in January. Tonya says they will probably name him Jonah.

Kevin wants to name him Rasputin.

He isn't joking... Really, Kevin is a decent guy. Quit judging him!!!

Rasputin probably had some good qualities. He was, umm, religious? Tonya said that Rasputin is actually an improvement from some of the other names he has suggested along the way.Kevin loves green. He approved of this green striped outfit. Kevin also loves cars. Rachel took these pictures and I don't have any with car baby clothes in them, but they received several car outfits. I should clarify what kind of cars Kevin loves. He loves junk cars. He likes them better if they don't run. He says that he dreams of looking out his window and living in the middle of a junkyard. Does anyone remember Fred Sanford ?

Alrighty, everyone is happy and enjoying the gifts. A favorite pastime of mine is going to Wal-mart and rubbing my face into all the soft baby blankets, so I enjoyed this shower immensely. LOTS of soft blankets to nuzzle when no one was looking.

It is NOT weird to rub your face into baby blankets.

But it is time to get serious...

Showers mean food. As a matter of fact after we played some extremely stimulating shower games I had cooked up and then ate the yummy food that my wonderful friends brought over, about half the crowd dispersed. Apparently it was time to sleep off the effects of eating way too much totally delicious girl food. Or go hiking. I don't understand that hiking thing when you could take a nap. But, yes, several ladies did leave to go hiking. You ladies are making the rest off us look bad, but I forgive you since you brought yummy girlie food to my house. Different strokes for different folks.

Back to the food...

This is a picture of a chocolate sheet cake I made. It was very yummy. yum, yum, yum. I ate it at the shower. I ate it for dinner. I ate some for breakfast. The icing is full of chopped pecans. I love pecans.

Oh of my life.

Saturday, November 3, 2007

First Date Part 1

Okay, so once upon a time I was not married to this hunk of a man. There was a time that we lived in different states...but always the same time zone! This sweet hunk asked me to fly to Nashville and visit him. It was a warm March day when I left Houston and a cold March day when I landed in Nashville. I wasn't cold though because I was going to drive home with my sweetheart.

This is were ALL similarity to anything in my life up until this point ended. 75 miles we drove. I did not even realize that they built houses 75 miles from a major metropolitan airport. What a terrible drive these people must have everyday going to work, since people have to work in the city. People in my life always have. Who would put a suburb 75 miles from a city. Oh great holy heck!! This is not a suburb. This is a SMALL RURAL COMMUNITY. Okay, I have been to a small community...once... but I never considered it a place to live. And it had a major university. And an Interstate. A really great Greek restaurant. A skateboard park. More than one movie theatre. It had know what I mean?

I was now in a very small town. A town that actually usually refers to the population as the county population, not the city population. I don't have any idea of all the towns in the counties I have lived in. I don't even know the names of all the counties I have lived in.

This county has ONE high school. ONE community pool. (doesn't every subdivision have their own? How can the swim teams compete against each other?) One library with less square footage that my parents current house.

I know, this is mind blowing stuff. I don't want anyone to get too worked up. You may want to go and make a smoothie and lay down before you read anymore.

Oh, are you back?

Here is the kicker. This town he is showing me is not the actual town he would like to live in. This is the ??big?? town. The next day he plans on taking me to his favorite areas in the next county over. The smaller, less spoiled county. The "I love the stinking great outdoors" county. The "most of the land is owned by big NY companies for tax purposes so you can hunt and camp anywhere you want" county. Heaven help me I can't possibly believe it gets smaller than this.

This smaller county is the one he lived in for years and the one he graduated school in. It has one high school also. But it only has one elementary school. He said it used to have another one on the other side of the mountain, but most of those kids didn't bother busing over to the high school after 8 th grade.

HELLO?!?!? Anyone with any sense listening? I don't want to offend anyone, but as my sweet hunk of a husband will point out, I am a big mouth Yankee. So here it goes.. I think about what he has said and I start to hear Banjo music... You know the tune...

If you are thinking, hey, Cynthia, you said you flew in from Houston, you are not a Yankee, well WRONG!! I had been in Houston for 2 months. I am so a Yankee. I am so much a Yankee you probably don't want to sit too close to me. I have a tendency to offend, so watch out!

So anyway, I make it through day 1...

Day 2... Wahoo Beach...

To be continued...

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Are YOUR trick or treat bags full?

So, we are now really starting to feel like it is fall. The weather feels cooler, the Dogwoods have turned red. Life is good, I was pretty happy. Until today.

I went to do a little grocery shopping this morning. I put about 30 items into the buggy. Milk, pumpkin, OJ, green leaf lettuce, hamburger, get the picture. What do I not need to buy on November 1? what do NONE of us need more of on November 1????? Those #@* after holiday sales. Those people at Wal-Mart had the nerve to put big bins of CANDY in the center aisle at 50% off. They should all be strung up by their toe nails!! Candy should cost MORE after a holiday so I won't buy anymore. SHAME, GUILT, EMBARRASSMENT, MORE SHAME. I will have to flog myself with a wet noodle later. Not only did I buy 4 (yes, that says 4!!!) bags of candy today, NONE of it is left. We ate it all after a dinner that everyone liked and ate plenty at. I was stuffed when we got done. I how am going to PUKE all over this blasted computer. I am a complete food idiot. I ate candy that I don't even like that much. Save me from myself......

My dear friends, do NOT go into a store until the Halloween candy is gone. Save yourselves. The Christmas candy is there already, but that is safe because it is full price. We can say no to it!

I would post a picture...of empty wrappers and me doubled over clutching my stomach but I know you are hoping that I don't!! I guess I will just have to sleep off this agony...

hmmm do I dare say only healthy food tomorrow?