Sunday, December 23, 2007

Vomit in Three States

Doesn't the title of this post just make you salivate with anticipation? It does? Really? Well let me share with you my most horrifying road trip story ever.

Having 6 children has given me an arsenal of bad road trip stories. I have taken them to SC before and had a pre-schooler develop a bladder infection on the way. 525 miles of needing to pee. It was a joy. I have driven 500 miles through the mountains of South Carolina. 7 months pregnant. In July. With a broken Air conditioner. And my husband had flown home early because of work. Did I mention that I had 16 month old twins and a 3 year old with me? And don't even ask me about the time we took 9 month old twins to Hong Kong. Nashville to Chicago. Chicago to Minneapolis. Minneapolis to Tokyo. Tokyo to Hong Kong. And then jet lag and then back again. And what? Flight cancelled in Chicago. Please shoot me know. Please...

But those were all problems that occur ed outside of my body. Yesterday I had a road trip and the only problem was me. Sometimes I get a wee bit queasy. Sometimes I get headaches. Okay, sometimes I get whopping migraines. I am not exactly sure what happened yesterday. I woke feeling a little funny. I had a little pressure on the side of my head. After breakfast and we weer getting ready to leave I decided to take some Excedrin. I took it withe a glass of water. Now, water and I are not always friends. Yesterday was on of those days. I could feel it sloshing around. It felt kid of warm and grooss. We got in the car. we drove through our little town and headed up the mountain. I am thinking...hmm... I would really like to empty the contents of my stomach. We get to the top of the mountain. Umm, Husband pull over there at that little park with the water fall.

I leave the car. I go around the back of a drain that is built into a hill.

How do you write throw up sounds? Blech? ehhhrrggg? Insert whatever sounds make you feel a little gaggy yourself. Now enter my two boys. I ask them what they want. I am throwing up, do you want to see it? Harrison comes running!


But you asked if we wanted to see? Why would they want to wheat chex and curdled milk?

Thus began my day. 550 miles we drove. Including a stop at the outlet mall between Chattanooga and Atlanta. And lunch at two different drive throughs. And an accident on I20 just outside of Charleston. We went 8 miles in one hour. The only consolation was that my stomach felt better when we sat still.

Yes, I threw up on the side of the road. In fast food restaurant bathrooms. In an outlet mall bathroom. three states.

I apologize to the resident soif Tennessee, Georgia and South Carolina. I am apologize to the nice mom with the 3 kids who let me cut line in the MacDonald's bathroom. She could just sense that I needed it more than her toddler. Maybe it was the way I was clutching my stomach and how my eyes were rolling back into my head. I am so sorry everybody.

I was so glad to get to my moms house. She has 7 bathrooms. Yes, 7. and they are all so clean. Thank you to the nice cleaning lady that came and cleaned the bathroom in my room. When I got there I ran upstairs. Up 2 flight of stairs. I could take the elevator but I am scared of it, and anyway, my stomach already hurt. But I ran up to that sparkling clean bathroom and proceeded to throw up in that sparkling clean toilet. I t was wonderful.

I then wiped my mouth with the Ultra Charmin toilet paper that feels like cloth and was even folded at the end like they do at hotels.

Oh Yeah... I was happy to be out of that car and at Haugen Manor!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Best written barf-humbug story I've read yet!